A New Testament as Seen in the Art of G[r]asping

excerpt from Gutland

1.

..............................spineless & sunlit
fix this once feasted-on body--animalistic
how you, for a moment,
.............seize then solidify this skin & what was once visited,
itself fittingly loose
...................................in sickening
.......................................translucence
....here’s spit around our gums--how now?
........the murder of crows, as it is made for
...like an abdomen is made for itthe Great F[e]ast
.......as it is made
for sanguineous
...................................................tongues
..........................yet
you have stopped him from sinking his Sunday bread
into your body only to find your body was not yours
to begin with, but his---
how incorporeal
& now?
...........your orgy of saints---the disillusioned sanctum
sanctorum;................... a nation of erratic confessors
........expect me not to comprehend celibacy
........expect not in me a symbol of fortitude
...............................when it comes to fucking
.....you’ve worn no priestly robes
...........................................................this morning
....no amice nor trace of such
.......................about the neck
......for me
.............................black salvation suits well----
for the swellings of our flesh expresses
.....far too much

do not expect me a child of every want
teeth gritting, eyeing everything, bitter
...........................for becoming
.......that shell of
............................................desperate search--
I disprove of want only because it means
I am trying too hard to live, yet live without impeccably well
...............................to the point of parch & salt
......no water
.......................no holy communion
......lest it be crippling, to dare. lest it be, lest it be not
.....the gnawed-at veal it tries so hard to clothe
.............................................in sheepskin
I have worn you well, my red
foulness--you seep so beautifully
.................into that violence

.......do know my legs spread
at the very thought of being skinned
completely---all completeness
.............................................................lain
..................for the flaying